2016 in Review Part 1

So per the agreement with my Lawyer, “Client Agrees that so long as Attorney represents Client and the case is an ongoing case and there has been no final orders entered in this matter, Client will not discuss the case or post the status of the case on any social media including, but not limited to, Facebook, My Space, LinkedIn, Twitter, Tweet, or any other chat line.  Client understands that any such puissant or discussion may have a negative effect on this matter as it proceeds in the court system.”  Hence none of this will be posted until after everything is said and done, I don't want to take any chances.

2016 has been a bit of a shit storm.  A very nasty and high conflict divorce has really taken up my time.  So sadly I did not get all my books written up as I read, but I did read and take notes, so instead, you are getting a year in review in 2 parts!

Royal Affairs: A Lusty Romp through the Extramarital Adventures that Rocked the British Monarchy by Leslie Carroll (Read 2/3/16 to 2/13/16) - 4 Star

This is a history of scandals of the British Royals for the last 1,000 years.  It was broken up by reigns and affairs.  It was a fun read.  Very light and well written.  I enjoyed it, but don't know that I would necessarily quote it or recommend it.

Angel's Share by Garfield Ellis (Read 2/17/16 to 2/20/16) - 3 star

This book is about Everton Dorril, a Jamaican man who goes on a search and eventually a road trip with his father and the evolution of their relationship.  This was a slow read for me.  I wasn't as invested as the characters, nor did I want to be.  I loved the imagery but the story line wasn't engaging to me.  I like the book ok, I thought it should have been more of mystery, where was his father, instead it was more of a journey of discovery.  Discovering who his father is/was and who Everton is.  The writing was good, the dialogue threw me off some, but I got used to it.  I'm not sure this would be a book I would recommend, but I wouldn't say don't read it either.

Where She Went by Gayle Forman (Read 2/16/16) - 4 Star

This is the Sequel to "If I Stay."  It takes place three years after the first book and is written from Adam's point of view.  The story wasn't as great as "If I Stay," but it does give the reader some closure as to what happened to the characters for which I am very thankful.  I felt the storyline wasn't quite as intense as "If I Stay," but I still really enjoyed it.

The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis (Read 2/13/16 to 2/28/16) - 4 Star

This is timeline wise the first in the Narnia series, but I think it falls more like # 6 in the published dates.  Essentially this is the story of how Narnia was created.  There is a ton of foreshadowing, which would make sense since most the rest of the series had already been written.    I hate the Uncle, he is sucha coward.  I never really thought I got I the Christian theme in the any of the Narnia books, but it was a bit more prominent in this one.  Usually the theme is subtle and you really have to want to see, but there are a few scenes in this story that are overt. 

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (Read 3/7/16 to 3/21/16) - 2 Star

In a future world, Controllers have created an ideal society through brainwashing and genetic engineering.    In some ways it reminded me of divergent.  The manufacturing as an idea makes sense now that I think about it because of all the references to Ford.  This takes place in AF 632, which is about the year 2540, not that far in the future.   The story line is incredibly raciest, but since it was written in 1931 it makes sense.  Although there were some comments that shocked me.  I didn't care much for the jumping between points of view in the first chapters.  It made it really hard to read.  Once Huxley picked a single point of view to follow, it became easier.  But after a while the reading felt tedious to me,  I had a hard time seeing the point of the book, besides to bash consumerism, which at this point is a worn out theme in my mind.  By the end I didn't like the book, it is totally my genre, but it just didn't do it for me.  I was happy when I finally finished, maybe it is where I am in my life and my divorce, but a bleak future portrayed here with no change just depressed me.

Room by Emma Donaghue (Read 3/23/16 to 3/29/16) - 4 star

This about a 5 year old boy Jack and his mom.   Room is Jack's entire world, then one day Ma helps him escape rolled in a rug, and he helps rescue her.  And the world is suddenly infinite.  The whole book is written from Jack's point of view, which could have been an epic fail, but it works.  I really enjoyed the book and the innocent and naive point of view.

Smarter Than You Think:  How Technology is Changing Our Minds for the Better by Clive Thompson (Read 2/22/16 to 3/30/16) - 4 Star

This is a nonfiction book discussing how technology boots our cognitive thinking.  I found it extremely well written and informative.  It made me re-think some ideas I had about how technology was dumbing down society.  That actually it might be doing the opposite, by changing our way of thinking.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Greene (Read 3/8/16 to 3/31/16) - 2 Star

Hazel has a terminal tumor, she accepts her inevitable death, and then she meets Augustus Waters and her entire life changes.  I think that because I have seen the movie and I know what is coming I can't seem to enjoy the book as much.  I just want to see if the book and movie endings are the same.  Additionally, love stories turn my stomach some right now, so I am especially disinterested.  I must be grumpy.  It followed the movie very closely.  I think I should have read this at a different time in my life to appreciate it.  I didn't, I found it to be a depressing read and it made me sad when I wanted to be anything but sad.

Ready Player One by Earnest Cline (Read (3/31/16 to 4/2/16) - 5 Star

OMG OMG I love this book, it has shot onto my top 10 favorite books!  It is set in 2044 and the world is ugly, almost everyone lives in virtual reality and the book follows Wade Watts as he plays a VR treasure hunt.  It is full of 80's pop culture references, and made all my geek senses tingle.   The storyline isn't that fresh, but Clive's writing and all the geeky references make the story!

The Forgotten Girls by Sara Blaedel (Listened to 3/31/16 to 4/3/16) - 3 Star

This is translated book from a Denmark Author, it is #7 in the series, but it's ok that you haven't read the others.  It makes me want to go back and start at the beginning, but I can't read Dutch.  I think translations start at book 2.  It was a great thriller and kept me guessing to the end.  It was an audio book and I enjoyed the narrator.

The Humbug Murders by L.J. Oliver (Read 4/7/16 to 4/30/16) - 2 Star

This is a murder mystery where the detective is Ebenezer Scrooge.  I loved the idea and the twist, but the reading was very slow for me.  It was such a slow read for me, I had a really hard time getting into it.  Almost like Dickens had written it.

Cage of Deceit by Jennifer Anne Davis (Read 4/30/16 to 5/7/16) - 3 Star

This is the first in a new series, Reign of Secrets.  The Heir Allyssa appears to be an ideal princess, but she fights crime at night.  This of course gets her in hot water when she has to marry to stop a war.  It was good, I liked it, a bit predictable but good enough that I want to read the second book.

Summer Secrets by Jane Green (Read 5/14/16 to 5/24/16) - 4 Star

This is the story of a recovering alcoholic who is trying to follow her program and make amends.  There are twists and turns and betrayals.  I found this interesting because it made me wonder how much I would forgive my ex if he came to me further in his recovery and truly was sorry and wanted to make amends.  Would I forgive him for the pain he caused while under the influence or would I want to exact revenge?  I would like to think I would be the bigger person.

Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey (Read 5/1/16 to 5/25/16) - 3 Star

This was not my first read of this book.  I really like Lessa, she is hard and sometimes cold hearted, yes but sometimes to reach ones goals and means to a better end the actions are not always nice.  She spends a good deal of her time looking at the greater picture.  And yes she probably caused some harm, but I truthfully think the harm would have happened with or without her.  The dragons are not a soft species and they need a ruthless queen, and I think Lessa will be one.  Not ruthless as in rule the world, but ruthless in a way that will save lives when the Thread falls.  And Thread what an ambiguous and scary threat, not much is said beyond its deadliness.   As this was not my first read, I know that there is a ton of foreshadowing for the series end in the prologue which I totally missed on my first read through.  So the first time I read the series, I read in chronological order not publishing order so this was actually like book #15 or something.  Having the back story made this book make more sense, especially knowledge of the historical riders mentioned.  With that being said I could see how some of the story could be confusing as to what is happening for a first time reader.

The Grownup by Gillian Flynn (Read 6/25/16) - 1 Star

This is actually a short story.  Sadly I can't even remember what the story was about, it didn't go along with any of the other Gillian Flynn's I read, and it just was forgettable.

Red Riding Hood by Sarah Blakely-Cartwright (Listened to 6/20/16 to 6/28/16) - 2 Star

This is a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood.  It was an audio book and let me tell you the narrator makes all the difference, the narrator of this ruined the book for me, I just couldn't get into it or even care about the twist.  It was awful.

The Witness Wore Red:  the 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice by Rebecca Musser (Read 5/31/16 to 6/28/16) - 5 Star

I seem to have developed a slight obsession with polygamy stories since I discovered Sister Wives on TLC.  I don't understand sharing your husband, I totally get sharing household duties and child care, but sharing a husband baffles me much the same as the swinger lifestyle baffles me.   I don't judge, but I don't understand either which is probably why I have an interest.  I thought this was an interesting insight from a woman who got out, and how much courage it took her to leave.

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt (Read 6/17/16 to 7/7/16) - 3 Star

This was an ok read, I liked it better than The Secret History, but it was still really slow for me.  I had a hard time getting through the reading.  I really struggled throughout the whole book with boredom.  The storyline seemed static and full of social commentary; loveless marriages and everyone is a cheat or a fake.  It just felt very cliché to me.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (Read 7/1/16 to 7/14/16) - 5 Star

I loved it and I want a sequel!

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up:  The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing By Marie Kondo (Listened to 7/12/16 to 7/14/16) - 5 Star

I liked it, the tips were interesting and I really wanted to go home and declutter after listening to it, I may even buy an actual copy of the book.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson (Listened to 7/14/16 to 7/19/16) - 3 Star

It was ok, I had a hard time paying attention though, I am sure I missed huge swaths of the story because it was audio and I zoned out.

To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee (Read 7/8/16 to 7/29/16) - 4 Star

I liked the story it was engaging and interesting.  I did have to remind myself sometimes about the era that this book was written in, and not get my liberal panties in a twist.  I liked the book, I thought it was good, and I was a little sad that I had missed it in high school.

America's First Daughter by Stephanie Dray (Read 8/1/16 to 8/11/16) - 4 Star

I liked the story, I know from the author's note that they tried very hard to make it accurate historical fiction but some parts of course were not.  It made me want to read more about Jefferson.

Priest by Sierra Simone (Read 8/11/16 to 8/13/16)

Wowsa!!!  This was an interesting twist and man was the sex HOT!

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee (Read 7/30/16 to 8/18/16) - 5 Star

I actually liked this one better than To Kill a Mockingbird, I don't understand what all the hollering was about.  I thought it was a really good book.  I could see where To Kill a Mockingbird came from, although this book had some of the facts, such as the outcome of the trial, different.  I thought the person Scout grew up to be was very reasonable and possible.  I was sad with her romance choice.  I felt the book did a great job of showing how conflicted people could be in the 60's especially in the south.  

The Martian by Andy Weir (Read 8/21/16 to 8/25/16) - 5 Star

I loved it.  Storyline, the language, the science, all of it, I did a happy dance.

Wreckage by Emily Bleeker (Read 8/25/16 to 8/29/16) - 3 Star

This was an ok book, but the plot twists were very transparent from the start and it all wrapped up a little too neatly for my taste.

Little Black Dress by Susan McBride (Listened to 9/21/16 to 9/23/16) - 5 Star

I liked this book alot, I have a special place in my heart for magical surrealism.

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes (Listened to 9/18/16 to 9/26/16) - 5 Star

OMG this book hit me in an emotional spot.  I saw the ending coming from a mile away but still I cried like a baby the whole time.  It wasn't a typical love story, and I think that was part of the appeal.  To love and to have lost, really hits me right now.  I am still grieving the loss of my marriage some, and I have said to many people it was as if my ex had died, because he is so different from the person I married.  I could totally relate to Louisa at the end.

Invisible Monsters by Chuck Plahniuk (Read 9/7/16 to 9/30/16) - 3 Star

This was an outrageously satirical book.  Not in a lets laugh at ourselves and society, but more of a Hey took a good long hard look at yourself way.  I thought it was an ok ready, I didn't care for the style of writing, the multiple point of view and timeline jumps ere had to follow.  I didn't' see a moral of the story per se.  I felt like Pkahniuk wanted us to become aware of and reflect on society and its view of beauty and the damage that view does to us.  It was very random and wow every character was fucked up!  I wonder if the narrator is a monster because she is missing her jaw or because she is missing her compassion.  Is that the whole point?  That she is a more of a monster on the inside than the outside?  But then again none of the characters are nice; I can't name a single decent person as a character.  I wonder if it a social commentary that we all have a little monster in us, and Plahniuk just exaggerated and highlighted those traits to show us our own reflections.  Our Narrator seems to accept herself monster and all, I'm not saying that we should celebrate our monster traits, but maybe Plahniuk is saying we should embrace ourselves , flaws and all.

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (Listened to 9/28/16 to 10/3/16) - 5 Star

This was a great book, and spent the entire listen trying to figure out who died.  I loved the characters; they were developed and very relatable.  I spent almost every chapter praying this character would not be the one to die.  I could especially relate to Celeste.  I have come to admire Moriarty's writing, her stories are never predictable and the characters are always well developed, even when they are not likable, they are at least relatable.

*SPOILER*  I am a domestic violence victim myself.  I was he breadwinner and seemed such a strong independent woman to everyone on the outside.  My Ex-Husband used to cut me down at every turn.  I could completely relate to having a "perfect" marriage to the outside world and living in a your own personal hell inside your home. 

Armada by Ernest Cline (Read 9/28/16 to 10/6/16) - 5 Star

This was just as loveable as Ready Player One.  I love the old school video games and 80's references.  It seemed set up as if there could be a sequel.  I wouldn't be disappointed if there was one.

From Ashes into Light by Gundrun Mouw (Read 10/6/16 to 10/8/16) - 2 Star

This was a slow and sad read.  It was an ok story, but it really had no movement.  It seemed like an endless cycle of discrimination and pointless violence and no sign of things getting any better by the end, just a shared historical experience.

If I Stay by Gayle Forman (Read 1/27/16)

This was my Feburary NNCC book.  It was so good that I sat down and read it in one sitting.  And then I read it a second time right before our meeting.

This is told from he point of view of Mia, who has been in a tragic accident, she is in coma and having an out of body experience.  She watches her loved ones watch over her and must decide if she wants to stay or if she wants to go.

I don't know why this book was so amazing, but I loved it.  I am seriously considering buying the actual book.  Some of the characters were unrealistic and the story line was a bit flimsy in places, but something about the writing drew me in and made me love it.

The Orphan Train by Christina Barker Klein (Read 1/10/16 to 1/27/16)

This is my January BOTM read.  The tale is told from two points of view.  Molly Ayer, and almost 18 year old foster child.  She is just months from "aging out" of the child welfare system, and close to being kicked out of her foster home, as a last ditch effort she takes on a community service position helping an elderly woman clean out her attic to avoid juvenile detention and homelessness.
Vivian Daly, the elderly lady, has lived a quiet life on the coast of Maine but her attic is full of her memories and her past, which was not always as quiet. As she helps Vivian sort through her possessions and memories, Molly and Viviane forma  remarkable friendship.
I really liked the book from the very start.  Viviane had a really rough childhood, and it made me sad hat she was taken advantage of the way she was.  I liked both characters Molly and Vivian, and I found the parallels in their lives fascinating.  Parts of the book made really angry, especially when it came to the treatment Vivian received as a child.
The ending feel a little unfinished.  But I think Kline did that to leave things up the reader's imagination about Molly and Viviane's future.  I like to think it was a happy one, but I would have liked it to end a little more on the tidy side.

The Rancher by Kelli Ann Morgan (Read 1/22/16 to 1/23/16)

This was a quick filler book for me.  A quick romance to fill some space between my book club books.  It was a pretty typical romance, just set in the wild west of Colorado.  There is a girl who can ride and shoot better than any man she’s ever met, but when the threat of losing her ranch forces her to find a husband. What she didn't expect was to find a husband that makes her want to be a lady.
 And there is a man guild ridden over the accident that claimed his best friend, then he discovers there was nothing accidental about it. So he sets out for Colorado, to fulfill his friend’s dying wish and to flush out his killer, the last thing he expected was to find was a bride.
It was a quick read, the writing was good, and it filled a need I had at the time for some romance.  Plus there was the murder mystery portion.  I liked Abby and Cole, they were a little flat, but again its a typical romance and the purpose wasn't to build complicated characters, it was to build the idea that romance and love are possible and for you too like the characters enough to want them to be together and get their happy ending.  Which Kelli Ann did wonderfully.

Guided Ashes by Rosamund Hodge (Read 1/11/16)

This was a short story I picked up as a filler between my book club books. It was a super quick read, novella length. I choose it because I liked Hodge's other book Cruel Beauty.

The story is about Maia (i.e. Cinderella).  Maia's dead mother haunts anyone who hurts her, and her stepsisters are desperate for their mother's approval.  Then Maia become the messenger for her stepsister trying to win the love of Anax, heir to the Duke of Sardis.  Of course nothing goes as planned but maybe there will still be a happy ending.

I liked this story, it was nice to see the Cruel Beauty world again, and the demon king still was granting wishes that were not what the person expected.  It was a fun read, I still prefer Cruel Beauty, but it was a nice filler story.

Instructions for a Heatwave by Maggie O'Farrell (Read 1/13/16 to 1/21/16)

This is a book I received in one of my Book Riot Boxes.
The book takes place in London in 1976. I had to keep reminding myself hat it was the 70's and technology want as it is today, no cell phones etc.  London is having a record-breaking heatwave, and Gretta Riordan’s newly retired husband has cleaned out his bank account and vanished. Which brings all three of Gretta's children home for the first time in years. Michael Francis is a history teacher whose marriage is failing.  Monica is an unhappy woman whose past has driven a wedge between her and her younger sister.  And Aoife, the youngest, whose new life in Manhattan is elaborately arranged to conceal a devastating secret.  This book is full of secrets and misconceptions that finally are revealed and accepted or not.

I liked the book, it was a nice light read. I wasn't so engrossed that I couldn't put it down, but it was a nice filler book.    The character I care most about was Aoife, I wanted to know how her storyline turned out more so than the others.  I was a little disappointed by the ending as I didn't feel it was resolved.  I felt like the character were moving down a path of resolution, but we don't get to see it and only have our imaginations to fill in the end.  I used to enjoy those types of endings, where the author leaves it up to the readers imagination, but I have noticed of late that my taste has changed and I want the author to wrap it up already.  I feel like, I paid for this book give me a conclusion not just an ending. But other than my changing taste, I liked the book. The story was interesting and light.  Good enough to keep me reading, but not so deep I had to stop being a parent to finish the book.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain (Read 12/30/2015 to 1/9/16)

The description is "At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society.  Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so.  Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."
This was a great read.  I'm an introvert myself, although after reading the book I believe I am a highly reactive introvert, which means I can play the role of an extrovert when there is something I am passionate about.  I felt the research and write up of the research on personality types was interesting  and easy to read, unlike some books were the research portion puts me to sleep, Cain wrote in a manner that kept me interested and awake.  There were many parts of the book where she was describing introversion, and I went "Ah  yes, that is me"  or "Ah yes, that total sense."  There were some great tips on how to get along in an extroverted world, but to still be true to your introverted self.  Remember, Introversion doesn't mean Anti-Siocial, it just means limited dosages or smaller portions of social interactions.

The Christmas Cottage/Ever After by Samantha Chase (Read 12/28/15 to 12/30/15)

This was a book I received in my December Lit-Cube Box.   The description is "THE CHRISTMAS COTTAGE:  Lacey Quinn does not believe in happily-ever-after or the legend of the Christmas Cottage. But her best friend does, and she’s the one getting married. It’s Lacey’s job to make sure everything at the cottage is perfect for the newlyweds. Instead, she finds herself snowed in with the best man, and she begins to wonder if fairy tales really can come true.
EVER AFTER:  Ava Callahan wants desperately to believe in love everlasting. But when Brian McCabe walks back into her life and upsets her carefully organized world, her commitment to perfection makes it hard to accept the love that’s right in front of her. Will it take a night in the Christmas Cottage for Ava and Brian to find their happy ending?"

I am not normally a romance reader, but it was christmas time and after the Fisherman I wanted something I knew would have a happy ending, and Romances have a formula that include a happy ending, so this was my next read.  This fit the bill pretty perfectly.  The two stories are intertwined, and flow together very nicely.I forget how perfect romance novels make love seem, that once in love all the troubles go away because love conquers all.  It was a nice change of pace.  Enjoyable and an easy read.

The Fishermen: A Novel by Chigozie Obioma (Read 12/20/15 to 12/28/2015)

This was a book I received in one of my Book Riot boxes. The description is "In a Nigerian town in the mid 1990's, four brothers encounter a madman whose mystic prophecy of violence threatens the core of their close-knit family.  Told from the point of view of nine year old Benjamin, the youngest of four brothers, The Fisherman is the Cain and Abel-esque story of an unforgettable childhood in 1990's Nigeria, in the small town of Akure. When their strict father has to travel to a distant city for work, the brothers take advantage of his extended absence to skip school and go fishing. At the ominous, forbidden nearby river, they meet a dangerous local madman who persuades the oldest of the boys that he is destined to be killed by one of his siblings.  What happens next is an almost mythic event whose impact-both tragic and redemptive-will transcend the lives and imaginations of its characters and its readers. Dazzling and viscerally powerful, The Fishermen never leaves Akure but the story it tells has enormous universal appeal. Seen through the prism of one family's destiny, this is an essential novel about Africa with all of its contradictions-economic, political, and religious-and the epic beauty of its own culture."
This book has a ton of great reviews about how magical the writing was and how profound the story was.  I found it depressing.  Their lives and what happened to the narrator at the age of 10 was depressing and awful.  I did not find it magical or enthralling.  I was not drawn to the characters or the story, I found myself forcing myself to finish it, telling myself that in the next chapter it would get better.  It didn't.  Obioma's writing was great, he was smooth and the story moved at a nice pace.  I just wasn't invested in the story.  I think I may have been in the wrong mood for the book, I wanted something with a happy ending and I didn't get it with this book.

A Few Seconds of Radiant Filmstrip: A Memoir of Seventh Grade by Kevin Brockmeier (Read 11/12/15 to 11/19/15)

 This was a book I received in one of my Book Riot boxes. The description is "At age twelve, Kevin Brockmeier is ready to become a different person: not the boy he has always been—the one who cries too easily and laughs too easily, who lives in an otherland of sparkling daydreams and imaginary catastrophes—but someone else altogether.  Over the course of one school year—seventh grade—he sets out in search of himself. Along the way, he happens into his first kiss at a church party, struggles to understand why his old friends tease him at the lunch table, becomes the talk of the entire school thanks to his Halloween costume, and booby-traps his lunch to deter a thief."

I really was not thrilled with this book.  The cruelty of the 7th grade boys hit a little too close to home for me I guess.  I found myself forcing myself to read and just hurry the f**k through.  The problem wasn't the writing, he had great writing, it was the storyline.  I felt too much like the bullying I experienced in 7th grade and I didn't want to relive those feeling through another character, my experiences were enough.  I did force my self to finish, and the ending was a little better than the beginning.  Junior High is a rough time, and this reminded me just how much.  I suppose it is a credit to Brockmeier that his writing did resurface so many memories.

The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson (Read 12/6/15 to 12/22/2015)

This was the BOTM selection for December. The description is "A reluctant centenarian much like Forrest Gump (if Gump were an explosives expert with a fondness for vodka) decides it's not too late to start over.  After a long and eventful life, Allan Karlsson ends up in a nursing home, believing it to be his last stop. The only problem is that he's still in good health, and in one day, he turns 100. A big celebration is in the works, but Allan really isn't interested (and he'd like a bit more control over his vodka consumption). So he decides to escape. He climbs out the window in his slippers and embarks on a hilarious and entirely unexpected journey, involving, among other surprises, a suitcase stuffed with cash, some unpleasant criminals, a friendly hot-dog stand operator, and an elephant (not to mention a death by elephant).  It would be the adventure of a lifetime for anyone else, but Allan has a larger-than-life backstory: Not only has he witnessed some of the most important events of the twentieth century, but he has actually played a key role in them. Starting out in munitions as a boy, he somehow finds himself involved in many of the key explosions of the twentieth century and travels the world, sharing meals and more with everyone from Stalin, Churchill, and Truman to Mao, Franco, and de Gaulle."

I did the audiobook version for this month's read, audiobooks are harder for me to focus on, and I find myself re-listening to large chunks because I loose focus and miss stuff.  I like all the characters, they are all screwy and screwed up, in some ways they remind me the Royal Tenenbaums.  Their background stories make me chuckle.  Overall I would say that it was 3 star.  It was chuckle worthy and entertaining, but I wasn't ready to rush out and recommend this book to everyone I know.  It ran a little long, and wrapped up a little too nicely.  But if you want a light, laughable book this one fits the bill rather nicely.

The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy: A Handbook for Girl Geeks by Sam Maggs (Read 12/6/15 to 12/20/15)

This was a gift from my husband.  The description is "Fanfic, cosplay, cons, books, memes, podcasts, vlogs, OTPs and RPGs and MMOs and more—it’s never been a better time to be a girl geek. The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is the ultimate handbook for ladies living the nerdy life, a fun and feminist take on the often male-dominated world of geekdom. With delightful illustrations and an unabashed love for all the in(ternet)s and outs of geek culture, this book is packed with tips, playthroughs, and cheat codes.  Plus, insightful interviews with fangirl faves, like Jane Espenson, Erin Morgenstern, Kate Beaton, Ashley Eckstein, Laura Vandervoort, Beth Revis, Kate Leth, and many others."
This was a fun and entertaining read.  It had a lot of great geeky resources and gave me some ideas of books/comics/shows to read/watch.  It also gave me some great resources for Cons (I have never been to one, but I know my Hubby likes them).  I may attempt one in the future with him at my side.  It was an informative read.  I liked the layout and the interviews.

Royal Progress by Pen Fairchild (Read 12/14/15 to 12/16/15)

This was a early reviewer selection.  The description is "Somewhere in space, in the last domain, 743 years from now... A princess dreams of a different reality. Her name is Bettina – ‘Bettie’ to her friends – and she thinks that anything would be better than her position as the spare behind a very irritating heir. She’s wrong.  Even princesses must grow up, but Bettie never expected to have to do it on the run. Not that it’s all negative, but can learning who your friends are when the chips are down offset the risk of beheading at the hands of a ruthless tyrant? Can growing stronger neutralize a close call with sex slavery? Can finding true love compensate for devastating betrayal? Can learning what went wrong in the Outlands help you save your “designed to be perfect” domain? Can the boy you loved, the boy you love, and the boy who loves you most of all work together with you to save your world?"
First of all I started with the Prequel which is on smash words for free, and it set things up nicelyI felt.  It really let me know what I was in for.
As for Royal Progress itself, I really liked it.  The characters were relatable and engaging, they made me want to know what happens.  I'm a little disappointed I need to wait for the next book.  Fairchild's writing is very smooth and simple, but also allows the characters to grow and evolve.  The Bettie at the start of the book is nothing like the Bettie at the end of the book.  I think it will be a great series with a lot of potential.

Naked in Death (In Death Series #1) by JD Robb (i.e. Nora Roberts) (Read 12/8/15 to 12/10/15)

This is NNCC book for January. The description is "Eve Dallas is a New York police lieutenant hunting for a ruthless killer. In over ten years on the force, she's seen it all--and knows her survival depends on her instincts. And she's going against every warning telling her not to get involved with Roarke, an Irish billionaire--and a suspect in Eve's murder investigation. But passion and seduction have rules of their own, and it's up to Eve to take a chance in the arms of a man she knows nothing about--except the addictive hunger of needing his touch."

This was really good.  You can tell Robb, i.e. Roberts, has a lot of writing skills under her belt. I could tell it was a romance, but there is enough mystery, action, and sic-fi to make me immediately check my library for the whole series, which they don't have, but you can bet I requested.  The romance storyline is not obnoxious and the crime parts of the story are very well written, and she did a good job of keeping me guessing on who the murder was.  I really liked it.

Half-Resurrection Blues: A Bone Street Rumba Novel by Daniel José Older (Read 11/11/15 to 11/12/15)

This was a book I received in one of my Book Riot boxes.  The description is "Carlos Delacruz is one of the New York Council of the Dead’s most unusual agents—an inbetweener, partially resurrected from a death he barely recalls suffering, after a life that’s missing from his memory. He thinks he is one of a kind—until he encounters other entities walking the fine line between life and death.   One inbetweener is a sorcerer. He’s summoned a horde of implike ngks capable of eliminating spirits, and they’re spreading through the city like a plague. They’ve already taken out some of NYCOD’s finest, leaving Carlos desperate to stop their master before he opens up the entrada to the Underworld—which would destroy the balance between the living and the dead.  But in uncovering this man’s identity, Carlos confronts the truth of his own life—and death.…"
I really liked this book, in fact about halfway through the I pre-ordered the second book from Amazon.com, which is coming out in January!  Carlos reminded me of a wonderful mix of Odd Thomas and Harry Dresden.  So good!  The bad guys seemed a little day to defeat and I didn't really care for the ending, but I saw it coming.   My only other comment is that sometimes the language felt a little rough, it just didn't have a smoothness to it I was expecting, and the storyline jumped around some.  Thankfully this is a series so there is a chance the next one can do it a little better.

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant (Read 11/3/15 to 11/25/15)

This is BOTM for November.  This is the story of Dinah, daughter of Jacob and sister of Joseph from the bible. This was told from Dinah's point of view, and it tells of her many brothers and her father's journey from Paddan Aram to Canaan,  and eventually Shechem and the events surrounding her rape.
I really enjoyed this book.  Diamant's writing was smooth and really drew me into the story.  It was a wonderful perspective from the women's side of things, and I really had a hard time putting it down.
Diamant's writing was so enthralling, she was really able to draw me into the characters lives, I was very invested in what happened both to them and with them.  I NEEDED to know how they were going to evolve to meet the needs of the bible story and how the bible story was the bare bones and not the whole truth.The book made me sad in so many ways, Dinah had a hard life and there were many tragedies in it, but even with the sadness she never gave up and she continued, she was a strength unto herself.

The Beekeepers Apprentice by Laurie R. King (Read 10/18/15 to 11/1/15)

This is NNCC book for November.   Sherlock Holmes has long ago retired, and is studying honeybees in Sussex Downs.  It is here that he stumble, literally across Mary Russell.  She is an orphan that has intellect to match his own.  Sherlock sees her potential and she quickly becomes his apprentice and partner in a way Watson never could.  Then an elusive villain enters the picture and their partnership is truly put to the test.
I like this book a lot.  I loved the introduction and the story behind how the story came to be.  Mary Russell is a strong smart woman and Sherlock sees that from the start.  The writing really drew me in and I had a hard time putting it down.  The book is thicker and more complex than it looks and it made me happy.  I wanted to immediately pick up the next one in the series.  I really enjoy how much independence Mary gets and how much Holmes trusts her.

SPOILER ALERT

I do feel the morarity storyline and the suicide were a bit redundant.  Mainly because I recently re-watched Sherlock and since essentially the same storyline was used there, it felt overplayed.  But maybe Sherlock stole the idea from Laurie R. King.

Q: A Novel by Evan Mandery (Read 10/6/15 to 10/18/15)

This is my October book for BOTM.  This is the story of time travel.  The protagonist is met by his future self and is told not to marry the love of his life.  It takes some convincing, but after much sou searching he listens to his future self.  But of course the future is never what we expect it to be.  So the man is constantly visited by different versions of his future self giving him advice on what he should do to be happy.
I didn't really like this book.  It was an ok read, by that I mean it was readable, I didn't dread my weeks reading so it wasn't all bad.  I feel like the writer, i.e. the man, was pretentious and Q was perfectly bohemian.  I just didn't connect to the characters.  I felt the man was jerked around by his future selves quite a bit, they kept changing what would make him happy.
There were these were these awful parts were Mandery inserted whole chapters of the Man's writing and it was just tedious, it really annoyed me.  I wanted it to stick to the story.  It felt lazy and as storyline filler to me.
SPOILER ALERT
So in the end the old man, goes back to tell his original self not to leave Q.  There he meets old Q and they go off into the sunset.  The ending really pissed me off.  It was a pointless story, they end up together in the end and wasted all their youth and missed so much time with each other.  In my mind after the book ends, like within a week or so one or both is hit by a bus, because that seems fair for wasting the life they could have had even with the tragedy.  The whole reason the man didn't marry Q is their son has a horrible genetic disease and it destroys both the man and Q.  I'm sorry, but the solution is called birth control, and if Q doesn't want to agree to that a vasectomy could easily be obtained and the whole problem avoided, then they could adopt!   I was just a annoyed at the stupidity of the main character.

Harness the Sun: America's Quest for a Solar-Powered Future by Philip Warburb (read 9/30/15 to 10/28/15)

This is an early review book I received through Librarything.com Early Reviewers. The description says that it is a book about America's solar revolution. The early reviewer blurb said"Solar power was once the domain of futurists and environmentally minded suburbanites. Today it is part of mainstream America—and the solar industry is absolutely booming, as it adds workers almost twenty times faster than the overall US economy. Beginning in his Boston-area home, where a rooftop solar array meets most of his family’s power needs, Philip Warburg travels the country and introduces readers to a surprising array of pioneers who are spearheading America’s solar revolution, from conservative business leaders and politicians to students and professors committed to greening their campuses. Pollution-ravaged urban industrial areas and Native American groups alike are finding that solar offers the key to revitalizing their communities—all while weaning the country off of fossil fuels. In Harness the Sun, Warburg argues that solar offers a realistic solution to the urgent problem of transforming our energy sector in a way that meets demand and is technically and economically viable."  It sounded so fascinating and when I realized I won it, I was really exciting.  The same week it came we had a scheduled appointment with a representative from SolarCity to look into putting solar panels on our own home, it seemed very timely and relevant to my own life at the time.  Then I began to read the book and I was disappointed.
The first three chapters were very tedious for me to get through, and took me almost two weeks to read. There were so many facts about business using solar, which was great to know.   But the facts were not really about the company's journey to solar as much as it was about the cost benefit and the details of the business themselves.  It felt like a sales pitch to me, look we are using solar because it is cheaper, and it is great PR that we are going green, buy from us.  I was dreading the thought of reading 7 more chapters of this.
Then in Chapter 4, it finally got interesting. Warburg began talking about the politics and controversies behind building solar fields on brown fields. Brownfield is a term used in urban planning to describe land previously used for industrial purposes or some commercial uses. Such land may have been contaminated with hazardous waste or pollution or is feared to be so. Once cleaned up, such an area can become host to a business development such as a retail park. It made a lot of sense to me to re-use this land in a positive way.  Finally here was some meat and some interesting controversies and benefits of solar energy.  I began to enjoy the reading.  But then it petered out again, and I couldn't finish i.   I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it.  It was too dry and it just couldn't keep my attention.   I found myself resenting it for the time it was taking away from books I could be enjoying.  I left my bookmark it, but I just wasn't willing to force myself to slog through it anymore.

The Dinner by Herman Koch (read 10/8/15 to 10/12/15)

This was the NNCC book for October, and joy of joy's it was my suggestion.  Hooray.  I first heard about this book both BBC world book club and listening to the author speak about it really made me want to read it.  Koch states in the BBC world book club that the theme is really that violence lurking inside all of us given the correct circumstances and it intrigued me.
This is the story of two couples, actually two brothers and their wives who are meeting for dinner to discuss something horrible their sons have done together.  The first third of the book we don't know what the boys have done.  The repercussions of this act by the boys is far reaching and potentially devastating for both themselves and their parent's futures.
I really liked this book.  I was so happy I selected it.  At the end of the there were still unanswered questions and mysteries that keep me up at night wondering about.  I really like the character, even the unlivable ones, Koch did a great job writing and developing them.  The mystery of the boys deeds and what their parents are going to do about it was doled out the right speed.  Koch suckered us in and kept us asking what is going on?  The characters find themselves in a very complicated situation and are very complicated characters, it all feeds into a well written and suspenseful novel that I couldn't put down once I picked it up, all other books fell to the wayside, because I had to KNOW what was going on.
It seems that at my book club I was the only person who actually liked the book, three others had mixed feelings, and the remaining four didn't like it. I understood their feelings and their reasoning, and it was actually mostly those reasonings that I liked it.
One of the big reasons the book was unlike was that the story got turned upside down, what you expected at the beginning of the book isn't what happened at the end.  I liked that Koch took us down a twisty rabbit hole, that where we thought we knew what was happening and what would happen was wrong, I like when a book proves my preconceived plot notions wrong.
Two, the characters are unlikable, they don't make you want to invest in them.  As I said earlier, I did like the characters and I did invest in them, so I didn't have this issue at all.  I think it is refreshing to sometimes read about unlikable characters, to love to hate them almost.  I didn't hate any of the characters, did I think some were schmucks, yes, did I hate them for it no.  Were some of the characters morally corrupt and not nice people, did I hate them for that, nope.  I viewed them as complicated and layered, the first layer is oh yes look as this nice family and this not so nice family, start peeling away the layers and you start seeing that things are not as cut and dry as they seem.  If felt that Koch did a great job of peeling away the layers and showing us a more complicated family dynamic than at first appeared.
Three, Koch was a lazy writer who left lots of details out because it was too much work.  I don't think he did it because he was lazy, I think he did it to reach a goal, to force his reader to wonder.  That Koch wanted us to come to conclusions.  The disease the father and mother have are never stated.  Names of people and places are often left out.
Four, why was it set in a restaurant.  Koch says in the BBC interview it was set on a restaurant in his neighborhood, and the point was to have the discussion in a public place to avoid violence.
Again I still really liked the book, I thought it was well written.  I recommend it, but I think the caveat is that you might walk away from it with mixed feelings.

What I Made!

So I have been searching for a good reading journal.
For a while I had been using this beautiful notebook I had picked up from amazon for $13.45 back in January of 2013.   I loved the cover and the feel of it in my hands.  It made me happy to just hold it.

Then I started using it and I discovered there were some issues.  First of all it is blank inside, which I knew it would be when I bought it.

So that meant that I needed to write in all my own entries about my reading. Which I did for about 8 months before I said screw it!  It was a major pain in the butt for me for some reason, probably just that I am lazy.  

I still loved the book but it  just wasn't meeting my needs, I then put the journal in a drawer and began taking book notes on my phone, easier to transfer to my blog sometimes, but it didn't have the feel I wanted.  I wanted a book journal. I knew there had to be a way to revive my little beauty.  So I began searching the internet and Etsy for something I could use.   On Pinterest I stumbled across a free journal by the Modern Mrs. Darcy.  I joined her mailing list and was emailed a PDF of the journal.  I did not use most of it, I admit that.  But the parts I did use were PERFECT!!

There are 5 pages near the back of the journal that were just what I wanted as headers for my journal pages.  Each page had 6 copies of the box I wanted, so I printed the pages 3 times to get enough to fill out my journal and pasted them into it.  There were also these great literary quotes at the bottom of pages, 18 each so I pasted them into my journal on every 5th page, just to give me something to look forward to reading.

I had this small close pin that I am sign a place marker.  

I also used the front quote from her journal and pasted onto the front of mine. That way anyone who looks at it will know exactly what it is.

And Viola, a wonderful custom reading journal that makes me smile every time I pick it up!

Lit-Cube September box: We will never be royals (received 9/21/15)

This was the first box I have received from Lit-Cube.  I was disappointed with the Quarterly box, and really wanted a monthly box with good swag.  Lit-Cube really grabbed me with their themes and the reviews.  It is $29.99 +$5 shipping = $34.99 per month.  It includes one or two books book, a t-shirt (not every time but it says most times), and other book swag.  I loved it.  It was what I imagined my book subscription would be.

 The book was Cage of Deceit: book 1 of Reign of Secrets by Jennifer Anne Davis. ($12.95)  This is the first in a new series, I am suspecting I will be looking forward to the next ones.  I have to say, I don't know what they did to the cover of the book, but it appeals to me textile wise.  It has this soft rubbery feeling cover that just makes me happy to touch for some reason that I can't explain.  anyways the book is about a princess that is also a vigilante.  In order to save her kingdom from war she has to marry a neighboring prince, and it wouldn't be a true fantasy novel if this didn't complicate things.  Its sounds fun and lighthearted.  There was a signed book plate by the author which I immediately put in the front of the book so it wouldn't be lost.

There was a free audiobook The Only Ones by Deckle Edge ($14.99).  It looks like it is a post-apocalyptic novel.  It is from Listen Up, I'm not sure especially since I can't find my free code.  Ooops, it is in my office somewhere I am sure of it.  Hopefully it doesn't have an expiration date.

There was a signed book mark by Nadege Richards, who wrote The Bleeding Heart Trilogy.  I am not sure what this is worth.  I have never read the books but they are available on Amazon Kindle for $0.99 I was able to buy the first one..  Maybe I will be more excited about the signature after I read the series or at least the first book.

There was a wonder full Star Wars Game of Thrones Mash Up T-shirt that I LOVE ($16.99)  I have already worn it a couple of times and it makes me smile every time I put it on.

There was a tin of tea based on the TV Show Once Upon a Time  I got Emma Swan's Tea the Savior,  it is my favorite tea Irish Breakfast mixed with blackberry, Vanilla, Rose Hips and Marigold Flowers.  It is so yummy and makes me very happy!  I received a sample tin worth $4.

There were some little foil crown nail art, super cute and I will totally use at one point. ($2)  Maybe for halloween as we are dressing up as knights and princesses this year.

The final item was this tiny 4oz mug. ($8)  Not nearly big enough for a caffeine addict like me, but I am currently on the hunt for a pretty succulent to plant in it.

Overall I am super happy with this box.  It has tons of good swag and I am looking forward t the book.  So in my book this is a win.

Book Riot Quarterly Box #8 (Recieved 9/17/15)

So, I'm a little behind on posting.  This is my second quarterly box, and I really feel on the fence about it.  I liked this one better than the last one, but I still wasn't jumping up and down with excitement.  It was just kinda eh to me.  I'm going to wait for the December box shows up and make my final decision then.  Besides who doesn't love more packages at Christmas time.

  

My favorite thing I received was a koozie that says Read More.  I have used it more than anything else received.  It is perfect for an ice cold Dr. Pepper or beer.  I really like it.  I'm not sure how much it is worth as you can't seem to buy it anywhere, so I guess it is priceless.

Another item that is priceless was this custom pennant that says Books!  Per the description it was exclusively created for Quarterly subscribers.  It was ok, I have it hanging on my wall, I wasn't really all that thrilled about it, but it was not bad. 

There was also a bundle of three notebooks titled Field Notes, they are listed on Amazon for $9.95.  My husband really likes to keep notebooks in his pocket at all times so he can easily write down whatever he is thinking.  These books are 3.5" x 5.5" so they fit perfectly in his jean pockets.  I was quite willing to give them up and encourage his free flow of thoughts on paper.

There were two books included in the box.  The first is On Beauty by Zadie Smith ($17.00). The back of the book doesn't really tell us what the book is about.  The description did tell me some in the Quarterly letter, but I still had to look it up on Goodreads.  I guess it is about affairs and mixing of cultures in a family.  The descriptions is leaving me still unsure what the book is actually about. Hmmm....I'll give it a shot, but I think it is lower on the to-read list than the other book received.

The second book in the bSkippy Dies by Paul Murray ($16.00).  This is about roommates at a Dublin school.  The fact that this is set in Ireland is enough to move it up on my list all on its own.  My anniversary is St. Patrick's day, and my husband and I are trying to plan an Ireland trip to celebrate one of these years.  (If only I could stop buying books, right?)  So, it seems as we plan I am drawn to anything Irish, and this perks up my ears.   It is about these 14 year old boys exploring the mysteries of life and death after their friend (Skippy) dies.  It sounds fun and I am looking forward to it.  There was also a poster created for Quarterly with the Seabrook song and has a bunch of graffiti on it.  I'm thinking the poster will make more sense and be cooler after I read the book, but right now its not really that fantastic to me.  And again it is priceless.

The overall verdict is that this was a good value for the money, I'm just not sure it was a good value for me.  Maybe third time will be the charm.

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood (Read 9/8/15 to9/22/15)

This was September's BOTM read.
The Handmaid's tale is set in the near future, it describes life in what was once the United States, now called the Republic of Gilead, a monotheocracy that has reacted to social unrest and a sharply declining birthrate by reverting to, and going beyond, the repressive intolerance of the original Puritans. The regime takes the Book of Genesis absolutely at its word, with bizarre consequences for the women and men of its population. The story is told from the point of view, of a Handmaid, Offred. Her job is to be an incubator of sorts, she has a history of being fertile, so it is her role to produce a child for a Commander and his Wife, in a strict biblical sense.
Because I didn't fully understand the social structure I did a little research and I found a great synopsis of the women's social class on VirtueFiction.com:

The highest class of women is the “Wives”—those married to officials and other elite. Wives may adopt or naturally acquire “Daughters”, while all others seek the service of Handmaids. Domestic duties of ruling-class households are undertaken by typically older and infertile subservient women known as “Marthas.” Forming the middle-class are “Econowives.” This group of fertile women is married to the non-elite and performs all domestic duties, such as childrearing and cooking. The most autonomous class is the “Aunts”—literate, unmarried and infertile women who train and watch over the Handmaids. The remaining women who cannot integrate into this social order are deemed “Unwomen” in the eyes of the state and banished to the forced labor camps, where the unlucky suffer a slow death cleaning up toxic chemicals.

I liked the book. Was I frustrated that we never found out what happened, a little. But there were the historical notes, and I got it. She wanted it to be like a piece of History. Like Anne Frank's diary. A snapshot, not a full story. In a way I think it made me think more, it made me focus more on the issues Atwood wanted brought to life, and less on the character. I feel like the true purpose was the social commentary on where she feels society is going, which per the BBC interview she still feared as of 2002, and the character was actual unimportant besides being a way to relay the message.
The message was to not give up our civil liberties to protect us from a fear, that can lead to repression and/or Totalitarianism. In the interview she said she finds things currently happening in our country disturbing, for example the Eyes in the book use the eye symbol from the dollar bill as their logo, so does homeland security. I get it, I can see how she would be fearful. The rise of the tea part, and all the legislation that has been tried to be passed that removes the separation of state and church, I get it. Atwood saw things that disturbed her about our country and our society (remember this was written in the Regan years). And she used the medium she had and knew to express her concerns. All the how's are not important, if it was like Anne Frank's Diary, the reader would know the general facts anyways. I think the book is more about the message and not about the how's or the characters.
Maybe it's just me but after reading any of the parts where Offred discusses being separated from her daughter I had to go sit with mine to calm down.  Is it a mommy thing?  I also had trouble sleeping those nights and would have to check on the kids multiple times.  I read the kindle version and I liked it so much I feel the need to add as a paperback to my shelves, I finished and immediately bought from Amazon.

My Inventions: The Autobiography of Nikola Tesla (Read 9/11/15 to 9/26/15)

This is a book I read because my husband love Nikola Tesla and we are reading a book of his papers together and I wanted to know more about him. Tesla was born in in the village of Smiljan, Vojna Krajina, in the territory of today's Croatia. By birth he was an ethnic Serb, a subject of the Austrian Empire and later in life became an American Citizen. He was a genius inventor and mechanical and electrical engineer. He is frequently cited as one of the most important contributors to the birth of commercial electricity, a man who "shed light over the face of Earth," and is best known for his many revolutionary developments in the field of electricity and magnetism in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Tesla's patents and theoretical work formed the basis of modern alternating current (AC) electric power systems, including the polyphase power distribution systems and the AC motor, with which he helped usher in the Second Industrial Revolution. Tesla was widely respected as one of the greatest electrical engineers who worked in America. Much of his early work pioneered modern electrical engineering and many of his discoveries were of groundbreaking importance. But due to his eccentric personality and his seemingly unbelievable and sometimes bizarre claims about possible scientific and technological developments, Tesla was ultimately ostracized and regarded as a mad scientist. He died impoverished at the age of 86.
Tesla lead an amazing life, in some ways it almost reads like fiction. The diseases he survived and the work he did, but it wasn't, it was true.  Some of the book was hard to follow, his mind jumps at light speed. And I won't lie the science was hard for me to follow sometimes.  But I think I got the general gist of it all, it will make discussions with my husband easier for sure.  Tesla seems to be both a man with great intelligence and great compassion.  His desire to improve the world through his inventions is inspiring.  I now understand why my husband admire him so much.